In ancient Rome, there were several places where people could socialize and consequently, meet potential romantic or sexual partners.
In ancient Rome, social life was full of opportunities to create bonds and cultivate relationships, both romantic and purely social. The city offered a wide range of public and private spaces where people could meet, share moments of conviviality and, often, get close to potential partners.
The forums, for example, were the beating heart of city life, meeting places where citizens of all social classes gathered to discuss politics, business or simply to spend time together. In this context, it was not uncommon for glances, conversations and mutual attraction to lead to the birth of personal relationships.
The baths also played a central role in daily life. These complexes were not only spaces dedicated to hygiene and relaxation, but real centers of socialization. Here men and women, at separate times or in distinct areas, could converse, observe and establish bonds that sometimes went beyond simple friendship.
Another fundamental setting for personal interactions were the banquets and private parties organized by the Roman elite. During these occasions, characterized by abundant food, music and entertainment of various kinds, the guests had the opportunity to get to know each other in a relaxed and often indulgent environment, where flirtations and alliances, both sentimental and political, were born.
Theaters and arenas also contributed to creating opportunities for meetings. These mass events, which ranged from theatrical performances to gladiatorial games, attracted a vast multitude of people, creating a lively and informal atmosphere that favored the birth of new connections.
In essence, Roman society was structured in such a way as to encourage mutual frequentation and the exchange of experiences, making emotional and amorous bonds an integral part of public and private life. There were many meeting places, each with its own peculiarities, but all united by the ability to unite people in a dynamic network of relationships.
Ovid, a Roman poet among the main exponents of Latin literature and elegiac poetry, narrates how some places in ancient Rome could be particularly suitable for meetings. Among all of them, he describes the Circus Maximus as the main place for approaches, since the hailstorms, unlike the Colosseum, were designed for a mixed audience. It is he himself in his text “Ars amatoria”, a love manual that made him famous at the time, who suggests how to do it by indicating real strategies to break the ice. In general, all events such as theatrical performances, gladiator games or chariot races attracted large crowds and this facilitated social life.
Some of the most common places to “pick up” were the public baths (Thermae): the Roman baths were much more than a place to bathe; they were real social centers where people conversed and spent time interacting. Frequenting the baths allowed for casual encounters and the possibility of flirting. The bodies of men and women were naturally exposed, shiny with oil and therefore sexier.
The Roman Forum (Forum) and other markets were also very lively spaces, where people went not only to shop, but also to meet people from different social backgrounds, and interactions could include exchanging glances or conversations that could lead to something deeper than the simple exchange of ideas.
Public gardens (Horti) offered a certain privacy, making them ideal for intimate encounters. Among the most famous were Caesar’s Horti, nicknamed “gardens of lust”. It is here, after all, that Caesar hosted Cleopatra.
Then as now, the streets and squares were places for spontaneous encounters, but it was during the more elaborate banquets and dinners (cenae) organized by the rich that people could have important opportunities to come into contact: the consumption of food and wine facilitated interactions and could lead to flirting and, in some cases, to more intimate relationships.
A common rule in approaches was the “vir prior accedat” or “the man should approach first” and the approach should not be too brazen, but full of flattery. Ovid also describes the importance of compliments at first impact and advises never to underline defects, invites never to ask a woman’s age and recommends never to flaunt previous conquests. He also allows the possibility of lying and making false promises even in the name of the gods, pointing out that even Jupiter would be amused, given his reputation as a great lover and traitor.
in photo:
Wikipedia, “Roman women in the frigidarium of the baths”, from a painting by Lawrence Alma-Tadema